Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
