There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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