why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
