Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
no you cant smoke seaweed
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
