So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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