maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
