is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
