You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
