Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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