When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
