the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
