Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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