UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
