You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
