haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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