I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
