Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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