careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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