You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
