So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I want to stick my p in your. b.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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