Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
