He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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