never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
