Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
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He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
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Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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