Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
