we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
