At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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