Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
