so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
