I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
