Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
