Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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