I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
