I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
