I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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