So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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