Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
