i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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