I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
