That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
