Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
