I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
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i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
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Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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