yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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