carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
