If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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