yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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