Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
