Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
