As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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