I murdered the dance floor call the cops
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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