high people should be assigned attendants
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
