took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
