Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
