people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
