and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
