Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
is wine microwaveable?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
