Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
