JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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