Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
