Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
